Encore.
Sunday, May 24, 2009 7:34 AM
Oui, mes amies, je suis tres stupide. So I stayed up all night and woke up this morning just to see if he accepted my friends request. I'm so retarded. But my dream I woke up to was the best dream I've ever had this year. At the end, he was there and he took me by the wrist and walked to this grassy part of school. It was a make believe school since it looked nothing like my school. Back to the dream I said I was tired and didn't walk anymore and he replied we don't have to we could stop right here. In the middle of this grassy plain he laid down and pulled me on to his chest. It was the sofest and sweetest thing I have ever dreamt of. I just hope if there is a chance for a relationship it would be said and done. Maybe its my infatuation kicking but I feel like this could work, this could be my something real or I could just be losing my mind. Please let it be, my heart is the most humorous yet lonliest thing to ever walk this earth. Just 'cause I smile and laugh I still yearn for that one person to change my views on love. I'm not looking for Mr. Forever but I'm looking for my first love. I know things wouldn't last in high school for me and I could only hope for only just a first love.
My sister laughed at my stupidity towards this all and says he likes me. I don't know she said she was serious but maybe she just wanted me to shut the fuck up. I'm just so hopeless! I had a freakin' heartattack asking him for his myspace. All my friends have been helpful with their advice and ears. All but one, yes she has helped me but her advice and conclusions scare me. I want to believe but there's a side of me thinking she just wants to fuck me over, that's the scary part. See I don't want to jump to conclusions but I don't want to just stand there. But I haven't been standing there, he's been making moves to talk to me in class and out of class I've been trying to but its so hard with his friends. He's the same guy but with such a different vibe. A vibe that is cool calm but a hint of some jerk-ish delights. Actually its him being held back, wayyy back. Man I need some Bloodhang Gang.