my Love, my stress.
Monday, November 17, 2008 8:27 PM
I've been trying so hard these past months to be the best person that I can but everyday it just seems like I'm failing so badly. I give my self, my life, my heart, my soul to God but I guess I haven't given enough. I cry at church, I cry at home, I cry at school. My love for God can tear a hole through a tree top but I still feel don't good enough. I still feel that I let Him and my family and everyone down. All I want is to be well again, I want to be healed! And I don't know what's holding me back. I don't know why I can't understand anything anymore. I don't know why I question playing the cello when once upon months ago it was my dream to go and pursue. I pray to God for the knowledge and passion I once had and for it to grow again. Did I become a bitter wicked heart? I hope not, I pray to be healed and saved from what's holding me back, from what I need and my purpose for life. I pray that I can dream like I used to. I pray that I can carry through high school all the way. My gosh! I pray that I can get through two pages of math homework without getting frustrated and giving up. People say patience is one of the best traits I have, but I don't know who I am anymore.